I know a lot has happened in the world this past week but my personal focus has been very close to home. Last Thursday my grown daughter had major abdominal surgery to repair a long term problem, brought on by her childhood surgeries. It has felt like a very long week as we waited for improvements post-op. She has had a rough time of it, and finally yesterday, she began feeling more optimistic as her body obviously responded to treatment in a way that she could quantify.
I stayed over the first night but have been driving the hour and a half back and forth to the hospital every day to be her advocate and to keep her company – until yesterday when I tapped out. I was exhausted. Turns out, her brother took up the slack and actually took off from work and drove up to be with her (wow, he really does love her! LOL!). I took the day to rest and catch up on laundry and such. It was definitely needed as I feel much better today.
This week has given me plenty of opportunity to use my spiritual tools and to maintain my center. Given the atmosphere in a hospital, I could have easily fallen right into fear at any point. At times, I found myself wandering back to her childhood surgeries. However, I didn’t stay in the past for long and discovered that though I remember them, the charge wasn’t there. The only time real fear came up in me was while we were in the pre-op area right before she went in the operating room. Part of that feeling was her projection as she was super nervous and wanted to run at that point, and for my part, well, I briefly jumped into visions of them cutting her open and the actual surgery. Cutting your baby open is not a pleasant scenario to contemplate!
Today my daughter is doing much better and will probably be coming home tomorrow. Life should feel much easier for her going forward. I am so happy for her. It’s been a long, challenging road she has been walking in this lifetime.
While I didn’t have the surgery, I feel like the experience was profound for me as well. I learned a lot about myself in the process – where I have grown from the last time, where I am strong, and where I need to pay more attention and use my tools, particularly in the face of unrelenting negativity of others.
I am very grateful for the skills and kindness of the medical staff, they have been wonderful. However, I am also very glad this episode is nearly finished and we are soon to move forward to something else.