In a little over a month, I leave this house for good. I am returning to NY for several months for various reasons, among them my grandson’s high school graduation and I will be gone for too long to hang onto this rental.
The upcoming move has caused my mind to gear into overdrive as I work out the details of departure. I have a lot of personal items to move somewhere else as I am not continuing the lease on this place. I do plan to come back around the end of August and there are many things I want to leave here instead of trekking them back and forth with me. I also have to tend to the utilities, clean, and get my deposit back, as well a myriad of other details.
Time and time again during this process, I have had to yank myself out of the hamster wheel mind and back into the current moment. After I become aware that I’m on the damned hamster wheel again, of course! I’ve decided those old neural pathways have such well-worn, familiar grooves that I can slide into them without any effort, despite my spiritual growth.
Spirit has my back, I keep reminding myself. I always am supported. I have everything I need when I need it. And from Eloheim’s newest teachings, “This moment needs you more.” This moment needs me more. I had to ask for clarification on being in the moment because I was confused about the difference between making plans and jumping into the future. My understanding of that answer was if your emotions are flared up and running the scene instead of the facts being the focus during the planning, then you are not in the moment. I was, basically, hamster wheeling and worrying about the hows and whens of the transition, over and over.
Things are working out amazingly well for me. I have had an offer to stay with a friend for when the contract on the rental runs out, and also for a place to live when I return. I have had two offers to help me move and clean the place, top to bottom. And today, another question I have wondered about was answered by someone stopping by the neighborhood unexpectedly. She came into to look at the house and turns out, I know her. She is the one who set up my phone and internet service a year and a half ago, the very things I had been wondering about! She left the company about a year after we moved in and I was disappointed that she was no longer there to help me disconnect the service. She speaks perfect English and was so helpful at the time and the new girl who took her place speaks no English. So I wasn’t sure how it was going to go with my limited Spanish. Again, spirit has my back, questions answered, and in perfect timing for my move since she said I need to go do it this week!
I am continually amazed at this “living in the moment” thing. Things do come when I need them. And not a minute sooner. It takes great trust. And vulnerability as well. For when I let people know what I need, it is provided somehow. Talking to my roommate about it this week, she reminded me to “let people love me.” For someone used to being independent and taking care of everything myself, this has been one of my biggest challenges. To open the door and allow others to help, and to trust that the support will be here when I need it, is still a work in progress for me. But I’m getting better at it each time I practice. If I can stay out of the ruts of habit, it works well.