Hot Damn: Notes from the Eloheim Retreat

“Hot Damn. Right! Let’s do this thing. This is awesome. God is it good to be with you all again.”

~ Eloheim’s opening comment at the 2015 retreat


Center of the grounds.

Having never been to any other spiritual retreats or participated in any events in person with others on this path, I have no idea if the Eloheim retreats are any different than other ones, but I would suspect they are, just by listening to people talk about their various experiences. All I know is that I love being a part of this group every year.

“This retreat we need to get everybody tweaked a little bit, then we are going to start really getting into energetic leadership – what it means, how it works, how to do it….we need each of you to have what you need that’s missing a little bit, so that as we go forward that will be handled. What we love about this is it’s not a drama or trauma that you are missing…. It’s a witnessing and an appreciation night of what the contributions are that are coming from each of you.” ~ Eloheim opening channel of 2015 retreat

Sometimes it feels as though this group and Eloheim and the Council have been my own special brand of personal therapists. I would still be mired in a life I was so unhappy in if I hadn’t taken my courage in hand in 2012 and announced with trepidation to my husband that I wanted to go to a retreat across the country. And that desire was inspired by the work I had begun with this group a few years earlier. One step has led to another and here I am, with four retreats under my belt and a completely different outlook and life. My first big breakthrough with Eloheim was finding out about my Core Emotion in a personal session. Holy cow, now I understand why I react the way I do. So, when I get upset or triggered, I know that I am running into that program again and can usually find a new way to look at the trigger and then resolve it by loving the unhealed part that popped up. Whenever I have needed some heavy-duty support or even a tweaking of my thoughts, my E friends always have been there for me, with no judgments and many useful E tools in hand, helping me find more clarity and more love for myself. The last four years have been some of the toughest I’ve ever gone through emotionally, but I feel stronger than ever thanks to my Eloheim “therapy”. Not that I feel anywhere near “finished” lol.

So this year’s retreat was very different from years past. The first night of channeling, Eloheim moved around the room, sat in chairs, crawled on the floor, and did whatever was necessary to give deeply personal attention to each and every one of us. They greeted us, held our hands, gave us kudos and messages and lots of love.

“We get fired up with all these people. One of the reasons we wanted to go around and say hello to each of you is, one, we wanted to make sure you each got individual attention. But two, we like sitting back here (in the back row of the group) feeling all your energy surround us, it’s fun, it’s lovely, it’s different to be with you.” ~ Eloheim opening channel of 2015 retreat

They know our hearts, our stories, and our essences so well, and we could feel how much Eloheim loves us. I got the “award” for “Traveling the Furthest” and for being “epic” lol.

“All the best things are happening tonight! We just keep sliding along and more and more cool people happen to be in front of us!” ~ Eloheim opening channel 2015 retreat

On the second day, the differences continued when the focus moved beyond dealing with our “dramas and traumas” to instead, helping us uncover our subtle fears so we can be energetic leaders.

“Drama and trauma you ain’t the boss of me, you don’t make my decisions!” ~ Eloheim opening channel of 2015 retreat

Since we now have the tools and know how to use them to defuse and let go of our dramas and traumas, it is time for something new to take the space those used to occupy.

Part of what we do is that we see the parts of you that you don’t see so that you can learn about them…we are here to support you in going to the place you want to go within yourself. That’s what we want for you, to get rid of the things that are in the way of you going where you want to go.” ~ Eloheim opening channel of 2015 retreat

Eloheim began the session with a partner exercise designed to show us how to recognize the fears we are unaware of, the fears retreat3.2015we haven’t put into words or thought much about. Fears that pop up when we meet or talk to someone else, whether we know them or not. They told us to ask ourselves, what fear do we wish this person would fix? Because everyone is always just “fixing their fears.” For example, a common theme for all of us was, “I hope they like me. I’m afraid they won’t like me.” One of my big ones is “I hope I don’t look as clueless or inadequate as I feel.” How do we act due to that fear? How do I want them to respond so my fear is fixed? What an illuminating exercise. I can see how I bring that fear to nearly every encounter.

We did a second exercise that day after Eloheim randomly paired us up, and then we all wandered outside to discuss what we saw in our partner that was a positive reflection of what is inside us. I had a lovely chat with an older man whom I had never talked to before, and in the process, we found a lot of common ground I didn’t know we had. He’s quieter in social situations, like me. I saw a lot of me in him and he in me. He told me about a part of me that I had not consciously acknowledged that he has in him. I shared what I saw in him that I felt in me, and he appreciated that. It was a fascinating discussion. We ended up feeling closer and I want to claim him as an older brother! I did not know how much we shared in common. So, out of that exercise, we learned we could choose the aspect of the person we are interacting with that reflects a positive or happy aspect that we also feel in ourselves, that the focus needn’t be on the trigger-y parts. Because we can always be triggered, can’t we?  We can choose to appreciate and move in different directions and be energetic leaders in the process.

The next day had us sitting in a circle around a table full of objects. The objects were random things we were asked to bring by Eloheim to the meeting. It didn’t matter what we brought. They varied from acorns to a selfie stick.retreat table of objects We each got up and chose an object, not our own, off the table.  No one knew what anyone else had brought.  Then we went around the room, describing how that object “was me”.  I quickly grabbed something small which turned out to be a heart from a necklace.  It was so pretty and among other things, I said this heart is where I want to live from, not my head, because my head has been in charge for far too long. (If one counts how many times in a day I unexpectedly get wet eyes now, that feels true more often than not!) Listening to everyone describe how their object was “me” was fascinating, and Eloheim was surprised and extremely proud of us that we didn’t find this exercise a challenge.

The last day was intensely emotional for all of us, including Veronica. She shared some deep vulnerability with the group before the channeling. As Eloheim’s channel, it doesn’t mean she is perfect or knows what she is doing all the time and she is learning as she goes along, just like the rest of us. Her sharing of her fears and vulnerabilities brought us all closer together. During the channeling, we also heard from the Council. We learn so much from their input, and feeling their love for us, for humanity, is inspiring.

Spoon bending practice

Spoon bending practice

Mixed among the channeling sessions were a breakout group where we discussed alternate expressions, lots of intimate discussions, a ton of laughter, and random spoon bending sessions. I didn’t ever attempt that one, I think there is a part of me that says I can’t do it, but I saw most everyone else who tried actually bend a spoon before the retreat ended. I will try it, but haven’t yet.

The meals were fabulous and once again, I ate way too much. Because, why not? It was there, I didn’t have to cook or clean and omg, it was delicious! Who doesn’t want second helpings and yummy dessert afterwards?

As usual, the grounds are gorgeous and the weather was really nice this year. IMG_1776I managed to hit the hot tub only once but it worked out some of the kinks from traveling. I think I hugged everyone multiple times and talked to every single person as much as possible. Four years ago, I mostly waited until someone approached me so that’s a huge change in me. If I wanted to talk to someone, I didn’t wait around for it to “happen” this time. I was so happy to finally get to meet one of our lovely members who I’ve wanted to meet for a long time, having only talked to her on FB or Skype before. She is every bit as awesome in person. I really wish I lived closer to some of these people!! Hmmm, I wonder if someone wants a new roommate? Or a dog sitter? Or a babysitter? Or a traveling companion? 

retreat 2015

Final 2015 meal together

I traveled from LA to Sonoma and back with two other participants and we had a blast. So much laughter and discussion about everything filled the car on the eight-hour rides. I would do it again in a heartbeat. I also got to stay overnight at one their homes and meet their family. Loved. every. minute. Again, I wish I lived closer!


Not everyone made it into the picture, some had to leave early.

The hardest part for me is the traveling to and fro. It took me nearly a week to stop feeling exhausted! Some of that I also believe was due to the energetic work and subsequent integration from the retreat.

One of the highlights of each of my last four years has been these retreats. Thank you all for being part of it.

And congratulations if you made it all the way to the end of this post!


6 responses

  1. Thank you for sharing..I always love reading about your retreats….I learn a tidbit to think about with each read…wishing you a life full of good health ,love and joy..hugs…

    Liked by 1 person

    • That’s cool, Pat. I’m glad you enjoy reading about them and find something that sparks something in you . That’s partly why I share. And I always have wished the very same good things for you and your life, Pat. ❤


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