Turning the Ship Around

Trusting my instincts, last week I reached out to someone who was looking for a house to rent and asked her if she wanted to share mine with me.  After some back and forth, she decided she would take me up on my trial roommate offer and will move in here the middle of next month, staying until she goes back to the US in December for Christmas. If it doesn’t work out with us as roommates, she will not be returning, with no hard feelings on either side.  

I am not stressed about the outcome (which never helps anyways), as know I will still have housing options if it doesn’t work out.  One of those options is rooming with a neighbor who very kindly offered to give up her spare room and share her place with me, and also today my other neighbor told me about a brand new place that won’t be ready for a couple of months that totally fits my preferences and budget.  Funny how things work out when you give up on a specific goal, options and solutions seem to come pouring in.  I will need to pull my house off Airbnb though since all three bedrooms will be taken for awhile.

On another topic, I keep getting the same answer when I ask for guidance about the next step, which I did on this new roommate possibility, and that answer is always, Trust.  Trust that I am provided for, trust that spirit has my back, trust that I won’t end up penniless and homeless, trust in my own intuition.  And remember that my doubts are unhelpful and unnecessary and create blocks to creating. Most of my doubts usually concern trusting myself to make the right decision, and this direction was one of them.  Trust.  Something that seems to be an ongoing inner project.

In July, when talking to Eloheim, they encouraged me to take this time for myself when I questioned all the recent down time or “couch time”, as they have called it in the past, and said that after so many years of doing and living for others, this is completely understandable and necessary.  They once likened the huge change I made in my life, after so many years of heading in one direction, to changing the course of a large, heavy ship, it takes time for this slow boat to turn around.  For a recovering perfectionist and serious life and goal organizer, it’s been a challenge to feel directionless while I’m turning this ship in another direction.  And I really don’t know where I’m heading at this point.

Anyhow, I am staying here for the next three months and I am happy about that. For the rest of it, I am simply Being.  This Fall is supposed to be a time of changes and much growth after the eclipse cycle, and I can’t wait to see what blossoms in me and in the world.

In a little over three weeks, I will be attending the annual Eloheim Retreat in Sonoma.  I am so looking forward to it, to being with all the people who know my heart and love me anyways.  To being with folks who come together for personal and spiritual evolution.  To being with those who want to evolve and who see a bigger picture for humanity, and who also know this will occur through our own individual growth.  This group’s support and love is unconditional, and being with them is very nourishing, for all of us.  I yearn for that in my every day life, and every year I look forward to basking in this energy.  This event will be the last one in its current format as after this I believe, Veronica plans to just have more frequent, smaller groups over shorter time periods.  She calls them Weekends With Eloheim and has already held several successful ones this year.

So that’s the latest news on my front.  At the end of the day, sometimes it is a challenge for me not to wonder what have I accomplished this day?  Some days are harder than others to choose another thought because I can see no tangible progress….but that’s part of my ongoing evolution.  In the end, I do choose differently.  I choose to believe every day is a good day.  Because being mean to myself is no longer a comfortable place to be.

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