We have the pleasure of hosting another friend for a couple of weeks. She is doing the same thing we are doing, which is leaving behind a life that no longer suits but has yet to find the next place for herself. She is exploring her options and leaving the door open for her next step. It’s so nice to have discussions with someone who understands exactly what we are doing.
It’s fascinating how many of us are following this path, this path of total disruption and the questioning the direction of your life. This inner quest that calls us as we enter our “middle” years. Where do I go, where do I belong, we ask. What’s my niche? What do I really want? What are my talents and gifts? What’s next on my path? How will I know it when I see it? Will I even see it?
For me, the only way I can walk this road is to take it one day at a time. If I get too far ahead of myself, fear takes over. Making decisions from that place is not useful or healthy or kind to myself. Since I can’t see beyond the twists and turns and through all the trees, I have to take this road one step at a time and see where it takes me.
I only know that, for me right now, this place feels right, and so many signs point to being here that I am committed for another eight months. At that end point, I have to be self supporting (which we have been pursuing), so there is a deadline. Our visiting friend has only just begun to explore her options and like us, has no set idea where she will end up or what she will be doing. It will be interesting to see where the three of us end up in a year’s time.
We all know that our respective families will not let us starve or be homeless, but none of us want to fall back on that option, as it means going back to the lives we once led and outgrew. There was a tipping point for each of us and things had to change for our own personal growth and well-being. A well-being of mind, body and soul. We definitely could have ignored all the signs that continually showed up, signs which were getting very loud. We could have remained where we were, however the feeling of being caged and unfulfilled was not going away. Something had to change. And that was us. So we each tipped our lives upside down to go seek “something” more nourishing to our souls.
Which has led us to this particular point of massive uncertainty. Like I said earlier, I can only do this if I stay on the step I’m on. All the spiritual teachers will tell you that that is the way to live because there is no future nor past, there is only the now to live in. I really like my Now. It’s full of lovely people and a beautiful environment.
And Now, off I go, to start my day