As I transition from my old life to my new life, I find myself at peace most of the time. However, just when I begin to think, wow, I am doing well without being triggered lately, one pays me a surprise visit. “Here I am!” it says, “Did you miss me?” Um, no. However, the visits are far less intense, and I don’t linger as long in the triggered state.
As I continue to evolve, I am finding it much easier to look at my triggers and grow from their appearances.
This week’s meeting of Eloheim and the Council gave me so many ahas about triggers and my sense of self, it was like one big, long aha. One of those moments of clarity for me was, it’s okay to have triggers. It doesn’t make you “bad” or unloveable or not a very intelligent person if you have the same damn trigger again. You haven’t slipped down the vibrational ladder of ascension for good.
What is important is that you pull your triggers in close, stare them down, and take care of them immediately, instead of pushing the issue away. It’s best not to ignore your trigger, stick your head under the pillow, and hope it will go away. It doesn’t, trust me. They don’t go away. And they show up for a reason. That’s when you look the trigger in the face and say, what do you have to tell me now that you haven’t told me before? And if the answer is nothing, then they need to leave the premises.
Money is still a bit of a touchy trigger for me. I can go merrily along for quite some time, feeling that things are working out and I am provided for, not worrying about the “hows” and “whens.” Then bam! Something pops up and I have to deal with another layer of fear about money. That’s when I have to fall back on my Eloheim tools like “I am tempted to….” and “What is true now” to change the neural pathways away from familiar trails so I can bring myself back to the moment. I had to do all that just yesterday. It has been a long while since I felt such emotion about my money situation but I worked through it in hours instead of days and weeks.
I also learned from the meeting that we go out of body when triggered. I know I am no exception to that because the statement hit home. I can feel the truth of it in my own body. I just want to get away from my trigger, and now that I know what I am doing, I can consciously pull myself back into my center. When you’re stretched out of the body during a triggered moment, you end up in the past or in the future, and that is not where the moment of action or your life resides. Courage in hand, I will come back into my body and take care of the trigger.
Yesterday I also had another big aha moment. While in a lighthearted discussion with a friend, I replied something like, “That’s because I am no fun!” As I heard that come out of my mouth, I stopped. I bemusedly asked myself, where did that come from?! A lightbulb came on when I realized it comes from being told those very words for years by my husband. It was almost a daily occurrence. Apparently I internalized it because I truly believe deep down that I am not a fun person. But is this really true? This is a belief I now must look at and change. I don’t like it at all. That phrase has a sticky, unpleasant energy to it and I don’t want to have it stuck in me. I remember being and having fun as a kid, somewhere along the way, something changed. My idea of fun is most likely not the same as someone else’s and that’s okay. It’s mine. This aha is brand new to me, I have never considered “I’m no fun” as something I could change, and that it was a judgement another person made about me that I accepted as truth. Not anymore.
Things come up in your awareness when you’re ready to look at them and make a change. I feel like both of these moments dinged my doorbell this week and said, Hello, we’re here, and are you ready to do something different with us?
Yes, I am.