This new year is coming in on quiet feet for me. But after my volatile and angst-ridden past twenty years, I am thrilled about it. The current version of me I’m taking into 2015 has gone through an intense learning curve in recent years, and in that process, I unloaded a lot of heavy baggage, healed a lot of wounds, and learned new ways to live in this human life. I’ve taken a lot of new steps this year including living on my own after a long marriage. So, it feels like blessed peace to enter a new year this way.
I had a dream recently that I was getting rid of a big bunch of clothes, and I was carrying them all in my arms on hangers. I was wondering, Should I really get rid of all these? I might need some of them. And I still like a few of them. At some point, I just decided to give them all away. I had a few belts in my hands and I walked over to an acquaintance (whom I don’t resonate at all with in waking life) and asked her if she wanted them. She said no, but I insisted she take one of them, that it would look good on her so she took it.
The clothes, of course, represent the old me. They symbolized the costumes I wore to please others and to fit in. They were the personas I donned to keep the peace and to do my “job” of running their world for them. I’m glad dream me let them go. The belts represent the constrictions and restrictions I placed on myself, the limiting thoughts and beliefs I allowed to color my decisions and emotions. I’m glad I gave them away, too.
Dream me, the subconscious part of me, has taken notice and acknowledged the huge load of baggage and restrictions I have let go of this past year.
New me is open to uncertainty and unrestricted possibilities. The me going forth into 2015 has different dreams than old me did. Actually, old me would never have allowed herself to dream the dreams, let alone follow them. She was sure she could not or was not allowed to, based on her beliefs, expand past the socially acceptable norms in her world.
Old me told me I was too old to start anything new. Current me says, I’ve got lots of time and lots of life in me, and there’s no time better than the present!
Old me felt nothing could ever change. New me loves change! Change brings opportunities! And fascinating people and adventures and places into my life!
Old me felt stuck. The 2015 version of me is mobile and free to choose.
Old me felt unloved and unnoticed and unappreciated. New me is much more connected to Love, inside and out. What’s most important to me is the connection I have to the love inside, to my soul’s love for me, to Source’s love for me. Without that inner connection, I was unable to let love in from anywhere else. Letting go of a relationship that no longer served me has not only freed my feet, but my emotions and my heart. It has allowed me to open back up and to be more vulnerable, a little at a time, and has given me many more opportunities to let love back in my life.
Old me couldn’t see beyond the status quo. New me has changed everything and opened up perceptions on both my part and others involved in my old life. Seeing more clearly is a gift I have given all of us.
Same old, same old suffering and boredom is no longer present. Current me feels the peace and self love that comes from choosing my own path instead of what was expected of me.
Old me was full of excuses for inertia. Current me is totally aware of the excuses. Yes, I’m not going to lie, they still happen, I’m still figuring things out, but I am aware and don’t excuse myself. “I can’t because…” doesn’t fly with me anymore. New me goes beyond those excuses to look for what is under them.
Past me worked for the money and disliked the work environment intensely. Current me is without income and knows it will come based on trust and me being me. I love the feeling of freedom and anticipation I have for what is to come.
Old me didn’t look at people or greet them as they walked by out of fear of being rejected or ignored. New me doesn’t care and does it anyway. And gets greeted back 99% of the time. Old me didn’t start conversations, new me does.
Old me took everything personally, current me takes no one personally. How freeing is that?! It is not my responsibility for how anyone else acts or reacts! Their life, their choices, my life, my choices. New me knows my primary responsibility is how I think, act and react.
Old me worried about the world and everyone and everything in it. New me knows that my emanation and focus are what will change things. I can only change me. I can only focus on what is in my own lap. I can only take care of what is in front of me. I also know that if my focus is on shifting myself, it will shift what comes to me in my world. I know that if each of us took responsibility for our own selves, that it would change everything outside of us, one person at a time. And so, I keep in mind the 100th monkey effect and know that I am making a difference simply by my choice to emanate positivity, open heartedness, a neutral stance, and love.
2015. Welcome. New me says, bring it on.
My wish for you, dear readers and friends, is a year full of joy, kindness, and love as you emanate your own true, authentic self out into the world. Remember, others may not agree with you but that is not your responsibility. Take charge of your own life and choose from your soul’s perspective. Where and how do you want to see yourself in 2016?
*Now I need to give credit for some of the terms I used throughout this piece. I realized afterwards how much of this is based on the teachings of Eloheim and Veronica. Here is their youtube channel with over 500 free videos where many of these concepts are explained. I still get lost in there when I visit….
Here are a few of their basic teachings and tools that I used above:
Compare U2U, Baggage and Static, Infinite Possibilities, Vulnerability is Not Weakness, Victimhood, Familiar Suffering, (from my own talk with E comes…) “mourning a relationship that didn’t fit,” Uncertainty, Emanation, Neutral Observation, Self Responsibility, What is in my Lap, Authentic Self, Choose and Choose Again, and the Soul’s Perspective.