Feelings

I felt misunderstood.

I felt scolded

I felt judged.

I felt wrong.  Not wronged.  Just plain wrong.

I felt attacked.

I felt shamed.

I felt stubborn.

I felt defensive.

I felt criticized.

I felt my motives were questioned.

I felt like someone else believed they knew my heart better than I do.

I disagreed.

I felt my statements devalued.

I felt small.

I felt inhibited from writing in my own flowing, personal style.

I felt a chain now shackled to my wrist.

I felt a need to clamp down on my feelings.

I even felt my feelings were wrong.

I felt afraid to express myself or share freely.

I felt afraid to be ME.

In a space* I once felt safe, I now feel unsafe. 

 

After several days, I am still working through these feelings, processing and integrating the learnings.  I’ll get through it.  Eventually.  I always do.  This just brought up some old junk in me that needs to be seen and let go.  Some things are just more challenging than others and writing is one way that speeds the process for me.

Thanks for listening.  ❤

 

(*Not here)
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4 responses

  1. As they say, This too shall pass. I know, because I processed this same list of feelings in September and it felt like I’d never feel OK about myself again. And it didn’t help to feel totally blindsided. From the chronology of events I experienced, I easily concluded it was a big spiritual release, but that doesn’t make it any easier to take. I suspect you’ve got a similar thing going on. Yes, this too shall pass…all is well and You are Loved! 🙂 Sending sprinkles and cupcakes and fluffy kittens!

    Like

    • Yeah Cheryl, something’s coming up for release since I am feeling very emotional, very tender for the last couple of weeks. It doesn’t take much to start a drip going, so this episode, though minor to others, bothered me. It triggered some old,buried stuff, likely connected to my core emotion. Not fun. But yes, this too shall be processed and pass…..thanks for the sprinkles and cupcakes and kitties, my favorites!!

      Like

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