“Someone asked about the difference between
focusing on outcome and planning.”
Veronica had a chat with Eloheim about this topic as she was driving to the post office this week, and here’s the short version:
Planning is focusing on the step you are on, setting a trajectory, and opening to the possibilities that open as you go.
Outcome is focusing on a specific “down the road” step. A specific person, job, house, etc and trying to pull that to you.
Veronica: I think we tend to be in outcome when there is “a lot on the line” and we are desperate to control the situation. That’s the precise moment when we need the flexibility of uncertainty to bring in new insights and [when] we tend to contract and fall back on old patterns.
Those patterns haven’t given us solutions in the past, however they are familiar, and “any port in a storm” seems to rule.
Takes discipline to do it differently.
Very easy to slip into old patterns and then beat up on yourself that “nothing works.”
Outcome/Certainty = Constriction. Feels “normal,” thus a return to the familiar suffering of fake certainty.
In the moment/Uncertainty = Flexibility. Feels “unusual,” thus avoided: interpreted as danger mostly because you can’t “prove/reproduce/control” results and hesitate to lean into something that doesn’t offer (fake) certainty.
This resulted in a very long discussion on the private Eloheim fb page. I, for one, had been confused about the difference. This is one of their basic tools – staying out of outcome, or staying out of the 50th step, and focusing on the step you are on.
Was planning off the table because it led to outcome?
The answer is No. The idea is to set up a plan and then stay open to what happens along the way. Perhaps when something pops up in your path, you move left, go around, or choose a different way instead of insisting your way is the only way or the best way. Events may or may not occur as you had originally planned and flexibility allows opportunities. And things may surprise you by turning out even better if you’re open to an unexpected right turn!
Outcome will say, this specific job, house, income is what I want, and that shuts down the possibilities of something better coming your way. You have one single imagined and desired outcome thus closing your mind to other potentials available. When you’re locked into a specific outcome, you are constricted, but when you lean into uncertainty, flexibility and options appear. The end result may end up something quite different from your original, desired outcome. In any case, staying out of outcome alleviates frustration, tension, and disappointment.
I have to admit, this is a challenge to my lifelong control issues, although lately I have been able to let a lot of that go or at least be aware when I’m doing it. By letting go of the need to control, I am finding a lot of wonderful things unexpectedly dropping in my lap.
Veronica: Here’s a fun example from me: I sent some decks of cards to K. When I put them in the box, the label wrapped around the box in a weird way and the Post Office man frowned at me because he had to type the numbers in rather than scan them.
I offered to re apply the label, twice, but he said no it’s ok.
I just messaged K asking if the cards had arrived and found myself saying PLEASE SAY YES over and over again. LOL
As if, it is some life threatening thing and not about $30 worth of stuff.