Running Towards Myself

A few years ago I was discussing my personal growth and wanting change in my life with a spiritual advisor and said I wondered if I am merely running away from something.  Their answer was no, you are running towards yourself now.

Heart.  Arrow. 

That statement alone caused a huge shift in me, allowing me to accept the desire to change, and in turn, prompting more growth.  It was like I got permission to be me.  Since then, I have changed immensely in how I feel, how I choose to react to life and people, and what I do with my own life.  I am still a work in progress, as we all are, but comparing me to me, I don’t even remember how I used to be I am so new these days.  And it only took until I was 50 to realise I could take my life in my own hands. 

Rereading decades-old letters of mine a few weeks ago, I realised I didn’t know who that person was, but boy, was she young and full of opinions and judgements!  And she certainly was not me anymore. 

I only know this, the older I get, the less I know.  And that’s okay with me.  It makes life that much more interesting to me.  And, it just means there’s so much more out there to explore! 

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One response

  1. Once again, Dorothy, your post speaks to my heart. I am in the middle of that quandary: Am I running away, or running To? My heart’s desire has for years been to move to Rhode Island, but in the midst of all this t r a n s f o r m a t i o n, with nothing else progressing, the only window that opened up and didn’t shut back down right away was a chance to go to New Jersey. Which is what I’ve been wrestling with emotionally this past week. It’s nothing permanent, I can come home when I want. But you wouldn’t (er…I guess you would) believe all the fears and questions it raises, in addition to the “Am I just doing this to run away from my dead-end life, or am I running to the next signpost along the right and true path?” It’s more of a wrestle for me than normal since I’m going to be a solo woman as a volunteer helper for an older man, via a volunteer exchange website. I don’ t know if you’ve ever heard of those, but you can sign up to participate in organic farmstays, or help with gardens and housekeeping in exchange for a room and meals. So I’m at the critical point of buying the train ticket and making it “real” instead of just in my head. I’m realizing that I am going “back out in the world” but choosing not to be afraid of people–like the brave person I was when I was 23. The theme among channellers this month seems to be “safety” and I have to keep reminding myself that I have always been and will always be safe and protected, because I didn’t go through all this to end up a victim. (But I still have the scary thoughts …maybe I need to hold my head for 10 minutes! ha ha!)

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