On Saturday 1/11, I had a very intense session with Selene Aswell, a gifted channel, as a present I gave myself for my birthday. It was amazing and wonderful. And by the end, I felt like I had shifted something in me. Something big.
Downloads from my Higher Self came in unexpectedly as we began to talk. Selene told me that I had done enough healing that there was room now for more of my soul to come in. Awesome! I began to feel shaky and quivery while the download was happening so Selene suggested I sing or ohm. I chose to simply tone whatever notes came out and laughed to discover that even my voice was quivery! I was glad no one was home! But, the more I did this, the less shaky I felt. The energy was intense as it came in through my crown and moved through me, but the toning helped a lot.
The guidance I got that day was perfect and very helpful to me at this point in my life. There are so many things and gifts in me I have wanted to access but have not yet found the path for them to blossom into fullness, no matter how much inner work I have done. When I asked, a message so simple yet profound was channeled to me that it made me go DUH! when I heard it. It clicked that key, gave me that gate latch as to why what I have long sought after has not happened yet.
I don’t love myself wholeheartedly. Sounds simple, right? Obviously, I have not totally achieved that one yet. It’s been much harder than it sounds. Yes, I love me, but….there’s always a “but” somewhere. It’s been a long, challenging road for me because when I started this spiritual journey, I didn’t really like myself much at all. Nor did I believe I had much to offer anyone. So, the gifts are just below the surface waiting to emerge, and with complete love and acceptance, the honoring of who I am and my journey, warts and all, they will be be set free.
Aha. Totally makes sense why this has been slow going, despite my efforts. My next goal, to love myself completely. I’m getting there.
I asked if my still being here was part of me not loving myself enough. Will changing locations see them appear? I didn’t even need that answered but got a smiling affirmative from spirit.
I was also offered the gift of clarity in my dreams. As you know, I get messages from my dreams all the time so this was a great thing to give me.
That night after the session, I had the best dream. I was in a room with some other people and we were opening presents, like at Christmas. I had a large pile of boxes sitting in front of me, all wrapped in various gold papers. So pretty! Pointing to one box, I said, I know what’s in this box! What? It’s a gift card. So I opened it and yes, there it was. I held up a gift card from the box.
When I look at that dream now that I’m awake, I am amazed at the pile of GOLD wrapped boxes in front of me, gifts from my soul, ready for me to unwrap. If that isn’t cool, then I don’t know what is! I can’t wait to see what they turn out to be!
The second night, I dreamt of bees. Bumble bees. A hive of buzzing, busy bees. One large one, covered in nectar, was talking to me as he was crawling into the hive. He said, this won’t be enough for everyone but it’ll do for now.
Now, I am not relaxed around bees. Remember my chat about bravery? I forgot to include this fear on my list. As far as I’m concerned, bees are unpredictable and I hate being stung. If more than one shows up, I don’t stick around. I got stung when I was young by a bee who got stuck in my clothes and couldn’t get out. I remember having dreams of being chased by swarms of bees. I had one smack me in the eye while driving down the highway when I was 19, and immediately I went down, sick to my stomach and in great pain. I ended up with a huge, red, puffy, closed up eye to start my second year of college. I don’t run from bees anymore but trust me, I have to breathe through the temptation to bolt.
So, bees. Interesting dream. Bees, to me in this dream, are the ideas, the creativity, the options, the opportunities that are brewing for me. And it was cool that the one bee, a male, was talking to me. It seems that all my ideas won’t be fed at the same time, step by step and only when it is appropriate for them to be nourished. It also speaks of these opportunities being community endeavors. That means that my dreams won’t happen strictly under my own power, they will require other people. This is symbolism I need to ponder a little more but notice this – honey, nectar, and bumble bees are yellow, gold. Gold is the color of the spiritual realm, your higher self. Gold, gifts from my soul.
Selene later suggested I look into Bees as a totem for me. Here is part of the meaning of Bees that resonates: The bee is a reminder to extract the honey of life and to make our lives fertile while the sun shines. The bee reminds us that no matter how great the dream, there is the promise of fulfillment if we pursue it. The elixir of life is as sweet as honey, and the bee is a symbol that promises us that the opportunity to drink of it. It is ours if we but pursue our dreams. At the hive: Community and socialization; knowing your place and function within a specific group; harmonious teamwork. Totem Library
The session helped me with many things and I am so glad I loved myself enough to follow my nudge to schedule some time with Selene.
(I want to reiterate, I share these things, not to talk about how grand I am, but to share my journey as I navigate this life in a more conscious manner. It’s definitely quite the challenge these days, but I know I am not alone.)