“Sometimes, the choice is to take neither path set before you, but to create a brand new one that only the soul can see.” Lisa Gawlas
For the last six months, the path my friends and I have chosen leading towards our potential new home has been less than smooth or straight. Every time we feel like something has fallen into place for us, within days or weeks it falls apart. We hit a rut and our cart tips over, spilling the contents. We find the road blocked and have to find another way to go around or how to climb over it.
This week we do that for the umpteenth time.
It would be easy to get so discouraged. Or angry. Easy to fall into victimhood, aka the self-pity party. It would be really easy to just give up. And I admit I have had my share of those feelings lately, as one thing after another slips out of our grasp and I momentarily feel blindsided and perplexed as to how to move forward again.
I just have to keep remembering that I am choosing my reactions (to my creations). Sometimes it takes me a few hours or even a couple of days to work through what I’m feeling. Finally I realise I can choose to wallow in those feelings or I can find a different perspective. I can choose to look at the events as pointing me in a different direction. Perhaps this direction was not quite in line with my soul’s choice.
I can also remember to ask for insight and let it come without judgment. Something always pops in when I do that, and at that point, I can either acknowledge that as insight from my soul or disparage it and push it away, telling myself it’s nothing. Pay attention to those hits, I have remind myself, they’re not nothing!
I can look for the positive in each event instead of the “dead endedness” of it, instead of using it as an excuse not to move forward with the dream. And finding the positive aspect, at times, is quite a challenge. We can remain in not-so-comfortable, familiar suffering or choose another way to look at life’s undesirable moments. There are always things we don’t see beyond our view. There is always more information we are unaware of that influences the outcome with which we are faced. There are always things to be learned at these times and we have to look at what the positive side of the equation is showing us as well as the “negative”. I can choose to be discouraged or ask myself what is there to glean from this?
Right now I have no idea how this is going to play out. None. I have the feeling though that we need to be there in person to make these decisions and that means going with complete uncertainty as to outcomes as well as the confidence that we will find our way. Our souls won’t let us down. That I am certain of.
So, while putting my feet on the ground one step at a time and working through my fears, I offer a few timely Nelson Mandela quotes:
“I learned that courage was not the absence of fear, but the triumph over it. The brave man is not he who does not feel afraid, but he who conquers that fear.”
“The greatest glory in living lies in not never falling, but in rising every time we fall.”
“There is no passion to be found playing small – in settling for a life that is less than the one you are capable of living.”
“It always seems impossible until it’s done.”