What does this show me about me?

Eloheim and the Council push me constantly to re-form my ideas of self.  The tools they share, when I use them, have me digging deeper into who I Am and allow me to see what is buried under other layers.

This tool from Birth of the Council 6 does exactly that:

What is the question of me?

Ask yourself the question, “What does this really tell me about me, what does this really show me about me, what is this illuminating about me?” Those questions are actually more important than, “How do I solve this situation?” It’s not about, “I need an answer to this question,” as much as it’s about, “What does this show me about me?”

Situations aren’t necessarily presenting themselves to be solved. Situations are presenting themselves to give you opportunities to grow. 

I hope I am interpreting in the way it is meant to be understood, but here is my take on it.  This tool tells me to step back and just observe before I respond.  There is something more here to be seen.  Situations and people are reflections of something inside us.  It is never completely about the other person because, as I have written about before, it’s all me.  What is this reflection showing me when I look into it?  Can I see beyond the obvious surface level to what is underneath?  What is the mirror showing me in its reflection?  Is it something that makes me uncomfortable so that I want to create something different next time?  Is it in dissonance with my soul?  What am I getting out of this situation?

I know when the reflection is not in resonance with what I want to emanate or who I am.  I feel it in my gut, always.  I used to ignore that feeling though.  And that is when illness happens.  After awhile, when you push stuff down or away long enough, it will make its way from the outer energy fields and lodge into the physical body.  I’ve acquired many aches and pains over the years in this manner.

So, now I always ask the question, what is this showing me, for me, why is it here now?  I have to step back and really take a deeper look at what is being offered.  What am to see in myself that has shown up in my outer world?  I tell you, it helps me to not become upset at people or situations like I used to.  It helps me not to fall back into victimhood.

For example, this big move I have been working on for the last year is excavating all kinds of hidden “gems” of self knowledge and awareness.  Money fears came up yesterday when discussing housing plans with my friends, making me wonder (again) if I am making the right decision.  I spent most of my adult life scrimping and doing without until this most recent job and now I am leaving it?  What is the matter with me?!  But it wasn’t really about this specific house as such, it was about uncertainty.  I don’t know what my future holds and it threatens my life long need for security.  It wasn’t about paying for the house in the now, it was about the future and what I don’t know.  I could feel myself projecting poverty and lack, again.

So I stand back.  And I look inside to find out what is underneath this fear.  Is it from this life?  Is it past lives?  Is it a specific incident I can trace it to?  Ultimately, I find a lack of trust to be at the base of it all.  Trust has been something I have worked the hardest to gain and the lack of it still tries to pull the rug out from under me over and over.  It comes up all the time to say, do you trust yet?  Do you still doubt your creative abilities?  Do you trust your insights yet?  Do you have faith in life’s unlimited abundance?  Do you still believe you don’t deserve to be supported?  Do you trust in infinite possibilities for yourself?  Trust is at the bottom of all of it!

Every day I learn something new about myself.  Sometimes it’s a little nuance, sometimes it’s a huge aha.  Always it involves digging past the obvious, looking beyond the surface reflection and asking the question, what is this showing me about myself?

I grow a little bit more every time I make the effort to look.

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