Relationships

Energetically you are receiving the energy of everybody you are around all of the time.
– From the moment you were born the families, the groups you were born into, you started to receive from those around you. You started to shape yourselves, based upon how far those around you allowed you to go, how they encouraged you. But most importantly, who they were. For it is who you are as energy beings …that people feel, not what you do.  What you do comes second. Who you are inside comes first and people feel this.
So, for example, if you are watching let’s say a television program, that is holding a high energy of love or somebody featured in this program is very loving and you feel very drawn to them. You will be able to activate the love inside yourself in response to this. It is the same within your everyday life, with all of your friends, all of the people you are around. You are rubbing up against those who you enjoy to find out who you are. That is why it is so important the more you awaken to start to give yourself to the good vibrations that you feel around you, rather than the ones you would experience as heavy or negative or limiting to you.
~~Zapharia through Lee, from The Essence of Relationships
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I, personally, have spent my whole life trying to figure out how and why relationships work the way they do with me.  And been frustrated and unhappy most of the time.  Why aren’t they the way I want them to be?  How can that person be so mean to me?  Why do I never have what I want?  What did I do wrong that they don’t like me?  Why don’t they ever do what they say they are going to do?  Why do I have to do all the work here and they don’t?  Well, obviously it’s all my fault and therefore, I suck!  On and on, questions and self-berating would go through my mind.  I never did figure it out by letting my head run the show.
The path I follow now that I am awake acknowledges that yes, I created that in the past and now I am choosing to create something else.  I prefer to create something else, something better feeling.  Because I understand how energy works and how what we emanate attracts more of the same back to us, I know that what I expect and think about will create and magnetize more of the same in my life.  The way I created in the past is officially over and I didn’t suck then, I was merely learning and exploring.  However, now I choose to emanate differently.  I am letting my heart and my soul lead the way (thus the title of this blog).
I can feel when I walk in a room or an area how much it agrees with my own energy and if I want to remain there.  Same with people and entertainment.  I honor how I feel in the relationship now.  If not, leaving is an option, or I can make sure to maintain my own energy so I am influencing the environment, instead of allowing it influence me.  I choose how I want to feel and how I emanate out, not based on what my environment or others tell me how to be but based on my own soul self.  It can be challenging to maintain but if I don’t, I don’t beat myself up for slipping.  It’s a process and I’m a human learning to be homospiritus.
My current path and desires are leading me to other places, I know this.  Away from those who prefer not to awaken yet.  I love them.  But I need to be in a different environment now.  I have milked this one thoroughly.  Being around the folks in my personal environment feels like a challenge every single day to maintain my own energy.  From negative attitudes to violent themes to narrow viewpoints, this is just a place that feels “wrong” to my own energy.  I am wanting to experience a better feeling energy.  I don’t fit.  I feel this strongly.  I am ready to stretch out.  I want to be around those who love and feel positivity as a rule, not as an exception.  I want to rub up against those who enjoy me and I enjoy them.  I don’t want to change who I am to fit in anymore, I want to BE who I am and feel comfortable in my Being with people who “get” me.
It occurs to me that that is how I felt with my fellow retreaters a month ago.  I want that same feeling every single day.  That is how I want my relationships to feel, full of good vibrations.
At the retreat, in a dream my guide told me I needed Latitude and Gratitude.  That will give me what I want.  Got it.  Whoosh!
Now please join me in my earworm….
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