Using my tools to create peace

If you can release yourself from judgment you will accelerate all of your learning. Judgment creates fear. When you judge yourself you also create a fear that you will take the same action again or make the same mistake again.

~~Zachary through Lee, from The Freedom Exercises: Release

Today, I created an interesting experience for myself, or should I say fascinating, according to Eloheim-speak.

As I was driving home from a hard day of working, painting and cleaning a house we are renovating, I was definitely distracted.  I realized far too late that there was a 4-way stop sign in front of me and a car already waiting to my left.  I slammed on the brakes and started to slide through the intersection on the slightly icy road.  There was no stopping so I released the brakes and continued on, waving apologetically at the other driver who was still waiting.

I felt bad and very stupid as I drove on.  I couldn’t believe I did that to someone.

Then I noticed the other driver turning left and coming up behind me.  I turned right, so did he.  I turned left and left again, so did he.  I was getting creeped out, and if he was following me, I was not leading him to my driveway so I pulled over.

He pulled up next  to me, and I rolled my window down and immediately apologized, explaining I did not intentionally run that stop sign.  He started yelling at me, telling me I could have killed him and his passenger.  I again apologized, saying I did not do it on purpose.  He yelled some more over top of my apologies.  I got louder, I’m sorry!!  He finally said okay, and having made his point, he put his car in gear and left.

I continued home, feeling badly about the whole incident, including my reaction to him.  Well that wasn’t very spiritual, I thought.  Then, wait, I have tools and it’s time to use them!  Eloheim tools!

First, I am allowed to have emotions.  It’s part of being human and what our soul came to do.  I can be upset at the near miss, alarmed at being followed, and even a bit angry at not being heard.  However, wallowing in these emotions is not useful or kind to myself, so this is over.  I will endeavor not repeat this error by paying attention when I drive!

I apologized to the other people for screwing up.  How they take it is their choice.  I can only offer my sincere apologies.  I refuse to carry their baggage.  I have my own that I’m trying to put down!

Yes, I make “errors” (have “learning opportunities” is a much better way to phrase it), lots of them.  But I am not an idiot.  Beating myself up is not allowed.  I repeat, beating myself up for this incident is not allowed.  I have lapses in awareness, and sometimes I yell back, but I am not allowed to be mean to myself because I did.  Judging myself is not helpful.  Or kind.  Or loving.

Now after all that, I can get to this part…..what I really am feeling is so very grateful our spiritual teams were paying attention and kept us safe.  And I am extremely grateful the other driver was more aware than I was so I didn’t cause an accident.

Whew.  That whole thing lasted about 15 minutes from start to finish.  Instead of my old way of being that involved days and days of hamster wheel stuff, I was able to clear it in minutes.  Comparing me to me?  Awesome.

Eloheim tools used….

  • Fascination> Integration> Emanation> Magnetism (from fear to fascination, integrating the learning, emanating a different energy, not sure what is magnetized my way yet)
  • No being mean to yourself (I am not stupid!)
  • Emotions are a choice (no wallowing in them!)
  • Don’t have Velcro for that (I am not claiming the other driver’s reactions!)
  • This is happening for me (so why did I create it? What is in it for me to see?)
  • Compare you to you (current me to past me-progress!)

 

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2 responses

  1. Good for you, Dorothy 🙂 Reading your words made me realize how much better I am in these respects as well. Yeah for all of us and with gratitude to the Eloheim for teaching us.

    I’m blogging again at Sisteroflight.wordpress,com.

    Like

    • Thanks. And great that you are blogging again, I have stopped in to see now and then and have missed your posts.
      Wow, I guess I haven’t been checking lately. I have a lot to catch up at your place!
      I added your blog to my bloglist, too. ❤

      Like

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