Today was a day full of hills and dips. The dip started with a comment from someone about how I wrote that triggered me with just one descriptive word, one word that went straight as an arrow into my core emotion. Well, hell, obviously that’s not completely healed! Like a dog with a bone, I worried at that word. I ended up on the hamster wheel of what-the-heck-did-I-say/do- this-time-to-have-to-hear-this-now? Why? Why am I not seen for who I am? Maybe I should just go run back into my cave, Monk in a Cave, yeah, that’s me. I’ll go back and hibernate in my cave. I do better there. No one to offend there. Tears were shed. My heart hurt for awhile.
An hour later, I finally made it uphill enough to remember and accept that her reaction was hers and not mine to own. However, this trigger is mine to shine the light of consciousness upon. Why is this in my story right now? What did I wish to reveal to me by having it present itself to me? What is she scriptholding for me? It’s in my face for a reason.
Another layer to examine, feel, understand, forgive and let go. I am soo done with that energetic. I get it.
Thanks also to a dear friend who, with some tough love, reminded me how much I have grown and the value of not going backwards.
Later today I did a meditation based on a teachings of Drunvalo Melchizidek where after one draws in the connection to Mother Gaia and then Father Sun into the heart, you then savor the feeling of the love blossoming inside. The love blooms for us from all, from us to all, and between Mother Gaia and Father Sun as well. We send this love outward, and from that vibration, connect deeply into our heart spaces. It is similar to what I have done before but is a slightly different path and deeper. After you arrive deep in the heart (which is dark), you say a version of “let there be light” and then you explore what your higher self brings out for you to see or feel or hear.
When I found myself in the center of my heart, in that quiet, still space, I spoke the words out loud, Let there be light! Violet light poured in like fog all around me to brighten the space. Beautiful, but I could see nothing through the dense fog. I knew I was in a cave of some sort though. So I asked for a brighter light and white light came in as well.
I looked around and I could see many rows of niches lining the rock walls up as high as I could see, and in each niche was a figure. The first one I took out and looked at was a white angel figurine, wings outspread. Lovely. I touched the wings, smiled and put it back. Wandering over to another niche, I saw Buddha, Jesus, and other figures I didn’t know but did know they represented my guides. I stepped back and in that moment, they all came out of their niches and became full sized, living, moving beings, surrounding me.
The room was full and I was in the center. I asked who are you and why are you here, in these niches? We are your guides, ever ready to answer when you call. All of you?? Yes, all of us will and do answer if you ask. We are here, available and always supporting your journey. The tall angel behind me was my Guardian Angel who never leaves my side. I could see family there in the crowd, too. I saw my past/other aspects standing in the crowd, one of them whom Erin Mackley introduced me to several months ago, a South American healer and musician. I pulled her out of the crowd by her hand, and we laughed and began dancing together. I danced and wiggled all over the circle with her. So much fun! I felt so happy knowing now how much support and help I truly have. As we danced, I looked around in loving amazement at the room full of beings standing in support of me, and I heard a song start to play in my head that I hadn’t yet heard today.
How perfect for my day, for my life today. Now I have a new favorite song. And lots of help when I ask.